Full version is 15mins 07secs long, and can be downloaded and streamed online.
Andrea had just come in from riding her horse when she remembered that she’d promised to ‘prepare’ a one-piece wading suit for a customer and then to get it in the post. She really didn’t want to do it now, but a promise is a promise, and to get to him in time it needed to be posted that afternoon.
So, she stepped out of her riding boots, pulled on some neoprene socks and proceeded to put on the suit. It was a brand new Chinese-made PVC suit which she had bought on AliExpress; it was really well made and excellent value for money. The latex cuff seals were reinforced at the ends and the full length gusset behind the front zip had a thin strap to fit behind the neck to keep it high inside the suit. If she had to be critical, the hood fastening was a bit poor (just a swatch of Velcro on each side beneath the chin) and the integral boots were not as substantial as she would have liked them to be. But that said, for the money, it was really an excellent wading suit.
The suit meant that wearer could wade up to shoulder deep, with arms submerged in the water, and still stay completely dry. But that, of course, was not the intention of ‘the preparation’… 😊
She walked over to the larger of the two ponds on the driveway to the farm. The recent long spell of dry weather has caused the water level to drop to at least 18” lower than it would normally be, exposing about 2 feet of sloppy mud in several places. This was perfect for the ‘suit preparation’ that she had in mind.
Struggling her way through the sloppy mud she dropped to her knees and then sat back on her heels. The mud was arm-pit deep and the suit did its job of keeping her dry perfectly. Even when sitting flat on the bottom, with the muddy water level almost around her neck, the suit did not fail. She really had to try hard, by leaning forwards with her chin in the water, before she got the desired cooling sensation down her chest. Even then, the tight elastic strap around her waist prevented most of the ingressing muddy water from travelling lower than her hips. Instead, it formed a very sloppy spare tyre around her waist!
Unzipping the front of the suit, and removing from around her neck the strap which kept the gusset up high, she was able to lie back in the pond and play with the water inching up the front of her waterproof. Temptation was too much, and she let at least a gallon flow slowly over the front of the gusset as she lay back in the slop. The muddy water soaked her Under Armour top and began finding its way slowly down inside the back of her waterproof riding tights.
Standing again, with her top half soaked and her bum rather squishy, she waded to the end of the pond and spent a couple of minutes scooping a large amount of extremely sloppy mud into the front of the waterproof suit before zipping it up and walking back to the house.
In the farmyard she unfastened the elastic strap from around her waist and there was a loud rushing slopping noise as the mud and water that it had been keeping above waist height gushed down her legs and into the attached boots. She then stripped out of the suit, revealing just how wet and muddy she had become inside it.
Being careful not to empty the suit, or rinse the slop from the outside of it, (customer’s orders) she proceeded to rinse herself off with the hosepipe before heading inside for a shower.
After that she’d have to go to the Post Office and send the package. Do they make very large and very waterproof Jiffy Bags??
